ARE YOU SAD?
OR TIRED? OR PRESSURED?
Hi! How are you? are you okay? are you doing fine? ifnot? well, we're same..
It's really hard knowing that you're really not enough for someone or something that you really want so bad. It's so sad that you are keeping yourself down every moment. Downgrading sucks! You feel worthless. You feel laziness. You feel pain.
As a girl with a lot of dreams and goals in life, i'm always eager to get those dreams that causing me so much pressure which leads me to become more hopeless. I'm so obsessed. Really! It's a negative thing. The hopelessness that i'm feeling every single day took me to become more depressed.
Praying is one of my habit. I 'm praying so much in a day. Until one day I decided to kneel down and prayed so hard until the pain that i'm feeling gently calmed. And that moment I opened my eyes. I lie down to my bed and relaxed my mind. I closed my eyes.... calmed. breathe in, breathe out. And suddenly while doing it, something was slowly changing. I can see those dreams that i'm dreaming was happening. I was shookt! And as I continue dreaming, I noticed something. I've seen my parents living in my dreams like it's real. I saw them in my dream house, dream car, dream life. And I understood that in order for me to achieve my dreams, I must know my whys!!! Aha!!! (Goosebumps!!)
I've quickly opened my eyes and get a note and a pen. And wrote down all my goals and dreams in life. And in the next page was "Why am I doing it?" What are my whys? Isn't it exciting? Omg!!
I took a rest. I refresed my mind. I rested my body. And off all of my social life. That minor time of restlessness took me to a good start. A new life. A new Beginning!
Hey! Still there? Well, i'm happy you did! Thank you! :)
Goodmorning! It's 6am. And i'm still wide awake. Energized. Hopeful. Excited. Haha! Weird, right? I am really hyper!! Like I had 8 hours of sleep. I'm so happy. I'm cheerful!
Let's work from home! :)
Coffee? Sure! Coz why not? Coffee is life, man! It's my first day of changing myself to be better. With no sleep. Just coffee! And as I do a lot of work, my mind is really working. The eagerness. The excitement! It's really on point! While the time is ticking, i notice something. I'm sleepyyy!!! Hahaha. And I guess, mission failed? I feel tired, sleepy and grumpy. Uuughhh!! I hate it!! Okay wait.. Gonna take a nap. Alarmed my clock in 1 hour but guess what? It's 5pm!!! :( I'm screaaamiiiiiing!!!!
So yeah, change plan :( I need. it's 2am and i'm still wide awake coz I had plenty of sleep this afternoon. It sucks right? Ughh!!
I need a time management. I must fix it! I hate it!! Yayy! It's 5am. Fudge!!! -_-
Plan! Plan! Plan! Ey, help me! It's been two days. That's my cycle! So unproductive! Ugh!! Can't work well. I wanna screeeaam!!!! Ughhhh!!
Okay, so I decided to control my sleepiness. So I can sleep well at night. I clear-cut to amuse myself a little. Okay, let's do small work at home which is chores. I need to make myself tired so that I can sleep in peace later. It's 5pm. Sleepy. Haha. But i'm in control. I can do it. I know.
It's 12am and still hyped! Woaah!! Wha'ts happening? Okay. Wait. I need God and talk to Him deeply. I totally messed up. Let's kneel down and feel His presence.
Calmed. Peace. Overwhelmed. I did it again. I can think wise. I can think well. Ugh! Thank God so much.
This moment I realized that in order for you to achieve your dreams and goals, in order for you to fix yourself, you must take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole flight of steps. Just have faith and fulfill your dreams.
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